the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
