Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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