I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
