So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
