She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
