I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize