things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
