Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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