8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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