There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
