Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
