See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
