quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
