so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
