I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
