I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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