Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
