he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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