): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize