just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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