i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
