he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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