at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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