i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize