don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
