i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
