...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
