He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The ass gains better be worth it
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