maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
