Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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