That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
