It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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