Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
