Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
