literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
