This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
