.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
