I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
