Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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