I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
