I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
where does the pee come out of this thing
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
