I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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