These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
