apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
