dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize