that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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