If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
