The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
