i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
