Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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