I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
