you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I know her cup size but not her name....
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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