Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize