I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
