margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
