It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize