Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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