I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
