She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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