so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
