i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
