babies were throwing up all over the place
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
