Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
